Dog's tail

A dog chasing its own tail has more chance of reaching perfection than said dog chasing another dogs tail.

Eye of the beholder

Perfection is in the eye of the beholder, I have a very sharp 2H pencil which im going to take and poke that bloody eye out... 
Ha.. 
Take that beholder!

Bloody Eve

If I ever meet that Eve person I'll shove Granny Smith where the sun don't shine.... 
Thanks... 
Now I have to work for a living...

Rockbottom

The problem with hitting rockbottom is that with the right tools you can even dig deeper

JAKism

Guinea pig ears

You've not lived till a guinea pig has nibbled your ears